I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease at the ripe age of 23.
I forgave God for allowing me to get sick.
At 24 I recurred. My body betrayed me yet again with complications. Pneumonia, fluid in the sac around my heart, a blood clot…the days were long and the challenges many.
I forgave my body for failing me again.
My doctor’s decided I needed a bone marrow transplant. My fiance’ decided he’d had enough.
I forgave my God yet again for giving me more than what I thought I could handle.
I had to sit idly by in a hospital room while my fiance’ became my ex-fiance’ and moved out of our house.
I forgave him for always looking for greener grass.
I started having hot flashes before even turning 30.
I forgave the doctor’s for being right.
I searched through pages and pages to pick out the perfect donor with the perfect eggs.
I forgave my body for failing me on the one thing that I wanted most in the world.
Five weeks and a lot of money later, Principessa appeared on an ultrasound, without ever having used the perfect donor’s egg.
I forgave the doctors for being wrong.
I forgave God for ever doubting.
I forgave my the challenges of the past.
I gave thanks. A lot of thanks.
xo
C.Mom
This post was inspired by the Remembe(RED) prompt: This week’s prompt is about forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving yourself. Write about a time of forgiveness. I debated whether to go the serious and emotional route, or to go the snarky route. I debated more detail. I debated which aspect to focus on. And instead of one moment, I chose to go with the big picture. I am even way under the word limit of 600! 
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my, I didn’t realize Miss Principessa was such an incredible miracle!
One little thing; “a lot” is two words, not one.
I really like the format of this; I like lists in general, but then having your specific thoughts really filled in some gaps and provided all sorts of insight that might not have otherwise made the list.
Lizz recently posted..Saturday Seven
Thank you Lizz. I struggled with what to focus on, and then I gave into the struggle and went with it. And yes, I do that “a lot”….
(I just went in and fixed!!).
This helps me know that life is FULL of forgiveness, isn’t it? I think we are forgiving the time… You shared a lot about yourself here and I like that. Well done.
Elaine recently posted..My BIRTHDAY is coming up- why dont we celebrate with a give away!
I think that you went the right route with the big picture. You shared so much of your story in so few words.
I really liked the repeated, italic-ed lines.
I’m thrilled at the ending!
I love the way your wrote this. At every turn we have a chance of forgiveness. This felt so freeing.
tracy recently posted..Jealous and Still Not Jewish…
Miracles happen all around you. Look how far you’ve come! You held on to hope and you never failed to give forgiveness. You amaze me and your writing is flawless.
Pamela Gold recently posted..Detour to Oz
Oh my friend, your words are making me blush. Yee of so much emotion and power in your words. Xo
Wow. I didn’t really know your story. How amazing. And thank God for miracles!
debbie recently posted..Heres The Problem With Health Care Today
I loved it, exactly the way you wrote it. I think you made the right decision going with the big picture!
This.
This is the wonderful that is you.
This made you.
You are my friend.
And I am so thankful.
Forgiveness, I have much of that to give.
Some of it to me.
I wonder when that will happen ….
Swooning….coming from you this means so much.
Very well written. Your post reminds us that whenever we think something has failed, we should still be forgiving and look for the positive in it.
Tiffany recently posted..RemembeRED-Forgiveness
How am I supposed to offer concrit when I’m sitting here with goosebumps and teary eyed?
As each hit came, I squinted my eyes, knowing something good must come soon. And then, in the end, it did.
The only thing I can think of is that I would have loved to have heard more about each item, but then it wouldn’t have been this post. In other words…you have a wealth of material here just begging to be written.
Or that could be me begging to read it.
Mandyland recently posted..One Last Drink
Thanks so much. I appreciate the feedback- and the fact that it made you want to know more.
Powerful stuff. I liked the rhythm of the story. I loved that you shared so deeply and that your need for and ability to forgive was on so many levels.
i am so glad you poured your heart out and brought me along the journey with you. so much struggle, and then forgiveness and thanks.
Frelle recently posted..Hope Forgotten
I sat here, my heart breaking for you right up til the end. What a miracle. And you told of it so beautifully – I think in this case, fewer words = greater impact, for sure.
Mrs. Jen B recently posted..RemembeRED- Forgiveness
Ok, I love this piece. You have a powerful story and you told it well.
I liked how you set it up, with the italicized lines “summing up” the major events in your life. It flowed very well.
Things to watch: you lapsed into passive voice a lot during the piece. For example: “I had to sit idly by” instead of “I sat idly by”
“I started having hot flashes before even turning 30.” You could tighten this up by rewording to “I had hot flashes before turning 30.” It just tightens up the writing a bit more.
I loved the last four lines, all emphasized for giving thanks to bring home the power of the piece.
Touching story, thank you for sharing.
Kelly K @ Writing with Chaos recently posted..The Garden
When I read this it just says ‘hope’ and ‘opportunity’. Every moment you were let down you became stronger and bigger things have come from it. I loved reading it. Thank you for sharing!
I love this line: “I forgave my God yet again for giving me more than what I thought I could handle.” That’s something I struggle with.