I Am In A Funk

by Elena on September 12, 2011 in All About Me

I have to admit something. Something that I is eating away at my innards. Something that has been contributing to a tummy ache that will not go away. Something that I cannot put words to exactly. So here I am sitting down to write…staring at a blank screen.

The truth is that ….I am in a funk. A writing funk. A life funk.

in a funk

Photo Credit: by Frank Wuestefeld

Funk, funk, funk, funk, funk.

I could blame a great many things for my funk.

I blame several weeks of not working out coming off of my Iron Girl triathlon.

I could blame going back to work after a summer of inhaling and exhaling social medial all day long.

I could blame my parental woes for Principessa as she navigates her way through first grade.

I could blame so many things. Some of which I do not really want to talk about here…well, I just shouldn’t.  I wish I could, because those words, well they would be all sorts of passionate. But I know better.

In the end, the funk is still there. The blame does not help.  It just makes my tummy ache a little deeper.

To top it all off, I feel ridiculously hypocritical for being in a funk. Here I am, founding a site about just being enough….about empowerment, about standing taller. Though the truth of the matter is that I am not sure that this funk is about me not feeling good about myself. Or maybe it is. Maybe it is my feeling inadequate as a parent. Feeling inadequate as a wife. Or maybe…it is just a funk. An icky four letter word that has eaten away at the passion and spark that ran through my veins not that long ago.

So I will do what I know how to do, what I love to do. Because not writing is not an option.  I will look for beauty. I will look for joy. I will look for giggles and laughter.  I may even look for the occasional tear, just as long as it has a silver lining. They may have nothing to do with me, but hopefully…in my search for things that are not funk related, I will find my way.

Maybe there are others out there feeling this way? Selfishly, I kind of hope so….because knowing you are not alone in this big expanse of world, all alone in your funk….well, that is just lonely.  Maybe there are others that want to join me in my search for beauty, joy, giggles, and laughter? Maybe just maybe.  And if not, I will say funk, funk, funk, funk, funk, funk over and over again, because the repeated saying of this four letter word, does make me giggle.

And giggling? Giggling is good.

xo

Elena

Earlier today I read about a new link up by Heather at the Extraordinary Ordinary. The instructions are to JUST WRITE. And tonight, that is exactly what I needed.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share Me

{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }

jodifur September 12, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Let’s see, my husband got laid off, got a new job, and then was in a car accident and probably totaled his car. Yep, total funk.

Reply

Elena September 12, 2011 at 10:36 pm

When did the car accident happen? Is he ok? Ughh….maybe they should make us the queens of funktown. If nothing else, everyone in all the land would wear cute shoes and drink good wine. Sending you xoxoxoxoxo.

Reply

Kirsten September 12, 2011 at 10:36 pm

I am in a funk. I am in a funk that’s lasted SIX MONTHS and it’s killing me. I mean, I get through my days ok and no one threatens to medicate me, but I have lost that spark you so eloquently describe. I sit down to write, and I have nothing. I draft posts, and deletedeletedelete. I can’t believe you posted this, because this week I have been muttering JustBeEnough to myself over and over and over again, as a way to break the jinx. And I too saw Heather’s prompt. Can I do it? Can I break the funk? Tell me I can.

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:16 pm

You can. You absolutely can. We can do it together.

Reply

Elaine September 12, 2011 at 11:04 pm

It’s okay, you know we all go through this. No one is “on their game” all the time. I know that because you are still looking for the joy and giggles you will find them and get your “mojo” back soon!

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Thank you–and you are right of course! It is just always so odd when the funk hits when things are so “good.”

Reply

Kimberly September 12, 2011 at 11:34 pm

I am in the same funk. It’s been going on for quite a while. There are days that seem a little brighter, making me think I’m okay, that I’m coming out of it. But they’re quickly forgotten when the next day comes. I want the spark back. I want the happiness and carefree living back.

Know that you aren’t alone in this. {hugs}

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:18 pm

You are so right. And I try to appreciate each day for it’s own things….but sometimes I forget and I focus on the lack of spark, lack of brightness. Hugs back!

Reply

Jack@TheJackB September 13, 2011 at 12:53 am

I know that funk better than I want or wish to. Been living in it for a long while- but it will pass. They always do. Just keep plugging away and keep writing- good things will come from it.

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Thank you Jack– truly. I know that you have been there, and I know that it will pass. It was funny because as I went to write last night and realized that there were things I could not write about, I thought of you and your powerful omissions. Thank you for being such a strong model.

Reply

Jack@TheJackB September 14, 2011 at 3:55 am

I am just another traveler in life trying to enjoy the journey. Boundaries are important. I tell a lot but I make a point not to tell it all. Some stories aren’t for everyone.

Reply

Frelle September 13, 2011 at 7:02 am

*HUG* yes it is okay to admit youre in a funk, and you dont have to have a reason for it. You just are. It’s valid. And I’m glad you posted about it. I’m thinking of you and sending you endurance. Love you xoxo

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:28 pm

xoxox

Reply

Dumb Mom September 13, 2011 at 7:48 am

Funk stinks. Literally and figuratively. Hope it freshens up for you soon, you’re such a bright light whenever we get together that I barely even believe it anyway! People as sweet and happy as you don’t get in funks, I refuse to accept it otherwise there is no hope for the likes of me!

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Ok so you my lovely friend, are the one that is the bright light. :) And it is funny, I always think of myself as wearing my heart on my sleeve. Several people lately have told me they had no idea about my insecurities and such until they read my posts. I guess that is good, right? maybe? Although, not all that authentic? #backtothedrawingboard

Reply

Galit Breen September 13, 2011 at 8:21 am

Yes, friend. Giggling is good. Funks are normal. And I will {virtually} sit by your side and assure you that you are in no way alone. XO

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Thank you sweet Galit, for being there.

Reply

Julia September 13, 2011 at 8:27 am

Funks stink — just coming out of a major one myself — newly empty nested & couldn’t write, didn’t want to tend the garden. Then? I decided, like you, not writing is NOT an option. So I wrote and wrote, and now I am looking for joy and happiness, too. It’s hard but I am fighting the funk! And piece by piece I’m winning.

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:31 pm

yeah for winning! Baby step, piece by piece….I need to remind myself that this is not a sprint.

Reply

Steph September 13, 2011 at 8:30 am

I am always going in and out of a funk. I hate it when I am in it. And I love when I finally get out. Giggles are a great way to start coming out of yours!

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:32 pm

I hope so!!

Reply

Heather of the EO September 13, 2011 at 8:44 am

I’m quite familiar with the funk…and with trying to figure it out. I appreciate it so much when anyone talks about their own funk. We all need that honesty, so thank you. And thank you for joining me on Just Write. I’m so glad you did!

Heather

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Thank you Heather for the great forum to link up!

Reply

Bridget September 13, 2011 at 8:54 am

The funk finds us all eventually. And searching for the little golden nuggets of happy moments is how I usually snake my way out of it. It really is all about the little things.

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:33 pm

you are so right about it being the little things. The silver lining is always better than the dark one.

Reply

Tatter Scoops September 13, 2011 at 8:58 am

Oh dear Elena, we all have been there before…just like the weather channel…we’ll bound to have bright sunny day and some horrible dark thunder-stormy kinda day. It will get better eventually :) Hope your funk will go away soon. Sending you a big hug!

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Love the weather channel analogy!!! :)

Reply

Jo September 13, 2011 at 10:21 am

Oh The Funk. Yes, I know it well. My funk turned into The Monster and I’ve been fighting it for awhile. You are not alone.

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Hugs to you!

Reply

Sarah September 13, 2011 at 11:02 am

Elena,
I can most certainly relate to your words here. I’m just recently coming out of my own funk.
There is value in sitting with those times, you know? And all of those things you mentioned (beauty, giggles, silver linings).
And in the meantime, there is the word “funk.” (And now you have me smiling at the thought of it.)

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:35 pm

I absolutely know and agree! Glad you smiled too!

Reply

Julie @ mamamash September 13, 2011 at 11:33 am

We want the funk, give us the funk, owwwww…

That’s what always pops in my head when I hear/read that word.

Ya know, I think the planets are aligned funny, because there’s a bunch of us clawing our way out of a funk right now together. If we all stand on each others’ shoulders, we should be able to form a pyramid of pure awesome that will get us out!

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:36 pm

I always know there is a full moon based on how my students are acting…maybe we are all in a new moon or waning moon phase. :) Seriously—yes, a pyramid–even virtually would be awesome and be just the thing to spur us all!

Reply

Leighann September 13, 2011 at 12:57 pm

My friend,
I fight the pull of sadness on a weekly basis. Self doubt, cloudiness, anger, a funk… it is all there at some point for one reason or another.
You are not alone you are surrounded by people who adore you and are lifting you up every second of the day!
We are here encouraging you and loving you.
Stay strong!

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:36 pm

xoxox Thank you dear friend.

Reply

Kir September 13, 2011 at 1:27 pm

I am also in a funk and it came out of the blue. I am feeling jealousy and like I’m just “not enough” when I compare myself to other women online and in real life. I hate when I let things like that get the best of me.
I know exactly how you feel and I wish I could help you, could make you SEE how amazing you are in my eyes, how much I wish I could be “like you”. That if I had your talent, strength and ability I could crash you out of the funk you’re in.

sending lots of HUGs to you my friend, while I feel better knowing you are in one too, I hate that you are and wish you sunshiny thoughts and days.
xoxo

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:37 pm

you—well you know how I feel about you. (people are going to start thinking that I have a crush on you) :) Sending sunshiney thoughts and hugs to you.

Reply

Missy | The Literal Mom September 13, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Gosh I’m in the same kind of funk. I’ve been crying on and off all day! I think it’s because the honeymoon’s over with this whole fall thing. Now that we’ve all (most of us) settled in and finished celebrating summer’s conclusion, the routine has arrived. And with the routine comes monotony. And also, things you can ignore during the summer now can’t be ignored with fall upon us.

At least that’s some of the root of my funk. sigh. Wanna hold hands and have a good cry together?

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Absolutely, holding hands and a good communal cry have to help!

Reply

Christina S. September 13, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Me too and I just wrote about it today. I’ve been totally emotional, which is not like me at all!

I need a kick in the butt!

Reply

Elena September 17, 2011 at 11:18 am

Sending you a hug… I think the hardest thing about it is when you have no idea where it came from or it just springs up on you.

Reply

just cherish today September 13, 2011 at 10:02 pm

hopefully, you get out of your funk! I hate being in a funk especially when it comes to the blog :)

Reply

Elena September 17, 2011 at 11:19 am

Yes, yes, and yes. The worst is that especially on the blog, I have no concrete reason for it. I guess that is what makes it a funk.

Reply

Elena September 13, 2011 at 10:38 pm

It is fun, isn’t it? And seriously, thank you for loving me either way.

Reply

Liz September 14, 2011 at 12:51 pm

I’ve had funks, too busy to have one just now but they hover on the edge. Hope you crawl out of yours soon!

Reply

Hopes@Staying Afloat! September 14, 2011 at 5:42 pm

I hope you are feeling better today. Funks suck, but they are so normal!

Sometimes all I need is a good nights sleep, other times its a good cry. Whatever you feel you need to do to make you feel better do it because funks don’t deserve to stay around!

Reply

Elena September 17, 2011 at 11:19 am

You are so right. And I have been trying…. I am really hoping to carve out some of that time this weekend.

Reply

Melissa September 14, 2011 at 8:18 pm

It is hard to admit to feeling down or being in a funk when you write a blog that is meant to inspire. Believe me I know. Yet I have also learned that pretending to be perfect is not real and makes me feel icky. So be yourself and over rime your readers will see the value in your words because thy come from a real person :-)

Reply

Elena September 17, 2011 at 11:21 am

Yes, yes, and yes. The interesting thing is that a few people that know me professionally in life have read some of the posts where talk about being insecure have told me how surprised there were to discover I felt that way–because I always seem put together and secure. It made them feel better about themselves that I was not always that way.

Reply

bridgetstraub.com September 17, 2011 at 2:02 am

I can so relate to this. Not only am I fighting a major funk but several weeks ago I began this Happiness Tuesdays thing on my blog and it’s not easy to find things to be happy about every week when all is not well. That said, it forces me to look for good things and keeps me from going off the deep end. Hope you’re feeling better.

Reply

Elena September 17, 2011 at 11:23 am

I love the idea of Happiness Tuesday. Not sure if you have checked out the Be Enough Me link up on Just.Be.Enough. but it sounds like your posts would be perfect to link up.

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: