The Mommyologist and Life Without Pink came up with a fantastic idea….a way for us moms to celebrate the reality (ok, my reality at least) that allows us unequivocally to say that “I am not the mother of the year.” The good news for me is that I have never believed that I was perfect, and though I am very hard on myself, I am always ready to admit my shortcomings. And so….I present to you, my numerous qualifications for this very distinguished award:
I decided to categorize them: throughout the regular day, over time, and doozies!
Throughout the day:
- I let Principessa eat a “bar” (aka granola bars, fruit bars, Clif Kid Z Bars) every morning for breakfast–on her way to school (yes, in the car!)
- I buy Uncrustables for her lunch (we call them “Peanut Butter Pies”).
- I have a terrible distaste for bringing laundry upstairs once it is clean. (as in, I will go downstairs to get clean clothes when I am getting dressed).
- I have threatened that Principessa will have to eat in the garage if she does not show better table manners (thank you Cara Mamma the Elder for having threatened this when I was a child…..it does seem to work!).
- When Principessa asks for a snack before dinner I say no, and then proceed to munch while I am making dinner.
Over Time:
- My response of “One more minute” to waking up, playing, or helping with something usually means that I am going to need at least five more minutes.
- I do not let Principessa play games on my computer…because hello??? I am on the computer!
- I have been known to let a few days go by without giving Principessa a bath.
Doozies:
- I eat Principessa’s Halloween candy.
- I have not been able to attend her school’s International Day Parade in three years.
- I laughed at my dear sweet Principessa as she cried and cried during our engagement photo shoot. Our wonderful photographer, Stephanie Ascari from Cleverly Candid even got a shot of it. It is one of my favorite pictures of Principessa.
- I have cried in front of Principessa.
- I have shouted at Principessa’s dad on the telephone when she was within earshot (luckily this does not happy anymore, but it did happen–a lot).
- I threw out some of Principessa’s school projects and then when Principessa realized they were gone, claimed that the cleaning people probably accidentally threw them away.
- I let Principessa listen to songs like “You’re Hot and You’re Cold“ and “Tik Tok” and actually encourage her by having the songs on my ipod for her to listen to in the car.
- I let my moods, my emotions, and ultimately my depression interfere with my role as a parent, a wife, and much more…
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I am sure that Principessa is destined to a life of needing therapy because of all the horrible things I have done to her. She tells me often that all we do is fight, and that I am the meanest person in the world. In many ways, I have things easy because Principessa spends a week with Rocket and I, and then a week with her dad. So in a way, I am only a part time parent as far as schedules and “stuff.” I have free time on my hands on those off weeks…and yet, when Principessa launches into one of her rants about how terrible I am to her…the thought has crossed my mind (on more than one occasion) that maybe she would be better served at her dad’s house full time. And that is probably my biggest qualification for this award….because being a mom, a parent, by nature implies imperfection. And not believing in myself, and what I can do for Principessa, or letting her stubborn, independent personality (which is not all that different from mine) make me think that I am not good enough…that is a crime.
Because….despite all of my imperfections, I would give anything to keep her safe, healthy, and happy…. I just may not always be good at it. And sometimes, that just has to be ok.
xo
Elena
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, girl, I’m so there with you on so much of this!
I can relate to much of these! I use the whole “one more minute” line but now my 4 yr old figured it out and yells back “you told me that 5 minutes ago”, haha. Thanks for linking up!
I get the same responses…it is unfortunate that they are become bright enough to catch on to our tricks! Though it is funny, Principessa still falls for “I bet you cannot take one more bite!” he he he
I think Mary and Tina have come up with such a fantastic idea in this contest. Reading everyone’s posts so far helps me realize that we’re all in the same boat and I’m not the only one doing things just to get by or survive the day….I appreciate your willingness to share the nitty gritty here and honestly I could just cry reading these things!
I am all about nitty gritty
And yes, it is definitely nice to know that we are not alone in our motherly ups and downs.
I can totally relate to your list!!! I should’ve added those Clif bars to my 4 food groups for sure, because my son does love those! My little dude has also become a huge fan of Lady Gaga lately. Probably not the best thing to let a 4 year old listen to!!!
SO excited that you entered our contest!
I like the clif bars too…so it works out that I stock up on them
I have lady Gaga on my running mixes, but she has not heard it yet. The other fun thing is playing Just Dance on the Wii and seeing her try to “shake it”… I must say, I am not sure where she got her moves from!
You are imperfectly perfect. A human mother! I love your lists and can relate to just about every point.
Oh, I the peanut butter pies as you call them, oh yes, they are a staple…We like them so much, I have to make them myself..’Cause there aren’t enough of them in the darn box…
Love your Not mom of the year!!
I found them at Costco…. so we are usually good for a while once I buy them. I also get the round multi grain bread at Costco so that I can make peanut butter pies when we do infact run out!
im so glad that this contest is going because it sure lets us know that were not alone.. and trust me Ive done quite a few of these too
I sooo go downstairs to get clean clothes!!!
Oh hun trust me when I say I know where you are coming from. As a mom of 3 boys nad one being bipolar I constantly feel like I have fallen way short..
What makes you mom of the year is your clear true love for her. The rest is pfffffffft.
The best advice I’ve ever received on parenting was from my sister in law. I asked her (she had 4 boys), “What do you say when they say, ‘you’re mean.’” She replied, “I can be meaner!” – and that’s been my answer every since!
The one thing my husband’s family has taught me is about unconditional love – and loving when conditions do not feel lovable! That means loving through the tantrums! And it’s a choice, not a feeling! And I think, eventually, it teaches them that true love never gives up! You can do it! You don’t have to feel confident. You just have to believe!
That’s so funny! I refuse to let my boys play on the computer because it’s not good for them…says the woman online at least three hours daily!
Oh my friend, you and I are a lot alike!
I feel like some of your doozies are some of my ‘every days’. Big gulp!
So glad to connect w/you thru the NOT MOM OF THE YEAR fun!
I’ll definitely be back!