The Mommyologist and Life Without Pink came up with a fantastic idea….a way for us moms to celebrate the reality (ok, my reality at least) that allows us unequivocally to say that “I am not the mother of the year.” The good news for me is that I have never believed that I was perfect, and though I am very hard on myself, I am always ready to admit my shortcomings. And so….I present to you, my numerous qualifications for this very distinguished award:
I decided to categorize them: throughout the regular day, over time, and doozies!
Throughout the day:
- I let Principessa eat a “bar” (aka granola bars, fruit bars, Clif Kid Z Bars) every morning for breakfast–on her way to school (yes, in the car!)
- I buy Uncrustables for her lunch (we call them “Peanut Butter Pies”).
- I have a terrible distaste for bringing laundry upstairs once it is clean. (as in, I will go downstairs to get clean clothes when I am getting dressed).
- I have threatened that Principessa will have to eat in the garage if she does not show better table manners (thank you Cara Mamma the Elder for having threatened this when I was a child…..it does seem to work!).
- When Principessa asks for a snack before dinner I say no, and then proceed to munch while I am making dinner.
- My response of “One more minute” to waking up, playing, or helping with something usually means that I am going to need at least five more minutes.
- I do not let Principessa play games on my computer…because hello??? I am on the computer!
- I have been known to let a few days go by without giving Principessa a bath.
- I eat Principessa’s Halloween candy.
- I have not been able to attend her school’s International Day Parade in three years.
- I laughed at my dear sweet Principessa as she cried and cried during our engagement photo shoot. Our wonderful photographer, Stephanie Ascari from Cleverly Candid even got a shot of it. It is one of my favorite pictures of Principessa.
- I have cried in front of Principessa.
- I have shouted at Principessa’s dad on the telephone when she was within earshot (luckily this does not happy anymore, but it did happen–a lot).
- I threw out some of Principessa’s school projects and then when Principessa realized they were gone, claimed that the cleaning people probably accidentally threw them away.
- I let Principessa listen to songs like “You’re Hot and You’re Cold“ and “Tik Tok” and actually encourage her by having the songs on my ipod for her to listen to in the car.
- I let my moods, my emotions, and ultimately my depression interfere with my role as a parent, a wife, and much more…
I am sure that Principessa is destined to a life of needing therapy because of all the horrible things I have done to her. She tells me often that all we do is fight, and that I am the meanest person in the world. In many ways, I have things easy because Principessa spends a week with Rocket and I, and then a week with her dad. So in a way, I am only a part time parent as far as schedules and “stuff.” I have free time on my hands on those off weeks…and yet, when Principessa launches into one of her rants about how terrible I am to her…the thought has crossed my mind (on more than one occasion) that maybe she would be better served at her dad’s house full time. And that is probably my biggest qualification for this award….because being a mom, a parent, by nature implies imperfection. And not believing in myself, and what I can do for Principessa, or letting her stubborn, independent personality (which is not all that different from mine) make me think that I am not good enough…that is a crime.
Because….despite all of my imperfections, I would give anything to keep her safe, healthy, and happy…. I just may not always be good at it. And sometimes, that just has to be ok.