2012 was supposed to be the year I competed in my first international distance triathlon.
I could go on with the “it wasn’t” list of things that I was supposed to accomplish. But I won’t.
Suffice it to say that in my moments of weakness, sitting on the beach in Venice, feeling bad about how I looked, I realized a few things.
I cannot change how I look or feel today. But I can work to change them for the future.
It is not about a size. As sad as I was about how I looked, it was never about the size. I want to feel good in my body. And I don’t.
Complaining and feeling bad are not going to get my anywhere. Ever.
I need goals. I need to work to achieve goals.
So I am taking the next step. Just like I crossed the bridge over the cold stream in Cortina, I am setting new goals. Working on plans to achieve them.
My first new goal is the runDisney Princess Half Marathon in February 2013. I will actually be part of a two person team with my long time professional mentor. It will be her first half marathon ever, and the first one for me in two years…although with my current state of running, I am treating it like my first.
I have work to do. There is no doubt. Work to redevelop my running base. Work to get my weight down so that I can run more efficiently. Work to regain some of the self confidence that I know is inside.
Because it is there. I know that it is even if at the moment it is just hiding behind the clouds.